urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:philipthedarkthis is mephilipthedarkphilipthedark2038-01-19T03:14:07Zurn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:philipthedark:88820some of you might want to read2038-01-19T03:14:07Z2038-01-19T03:14:07Zso I have started to look at my life an see its going down hill, where did I go wrong I have been back stabbed but I stabbed some one else out of this all. An it is hurting me a lot to even talk about it, but I have to get it off my chest, there is only some people that cares to read this maybe one or two people. <br />an I know its been a wile sense I have written in this an some of you who read this just do it to see if I am "talking shit" an I really don’t care about any one at this moment only about the women I hurt, <br />but I talked to one of my best friends about what happened an he made sense but why cant I see it, why must I hurt my self to see it why MUST I FUCKING GO THREW THIS SELF DESTRUTIVE PAIN!!!!! <br />The best friend’s I can almost count them on one hand, oh wait I can now!<br />A to add to it, it’s a full moon oh yay.............<br />but I don’t know if it was back stabbing I mean its telling a good friend something I guess, but I was hurt in the prose’s, hurt worst then I think I have ever been hurt before an yes it is my fault if I could I would go back an stop all of it from happing, I went from being .<br />"Phil- some dude that quite and doesn’t say much" to "Phil-WHO the FUCK AM I!?"<br />An in that change I lost friends a gained a lost again. <br />an now I hurt an wonder if I am a peace of shit, if I am not worth anything, if I should leave every thing behind, because I hurt some one that I guess loved because shit it was the strongest feeling towards a person and yes maybe I was infatuated with her, <br />Again fuck it I don’t care if she knows, to me she was perfect and if this is the end of our friend ship (I hope not) I have to get it out.<br />All it took was a smile from her face to put one on mine an it only took the littlest things from her to make me happy, but I am only human an it starts to get to the breaking point where it must be said and I still think She might of played with my head unknowingly.<br />Because people know how I did care about her and would have done anything for her.<br />But she always looks over that fact, <br />So I am very sorry for what I did an I know that wont fix it thou.<br />I honestly don’t know who that fuck I am anymore I need to be put back together an start over or something I don’t know <br />SO TO ALL THOUSE I HAVE HURT I AM SORRY I AM SORRY FOR EVERY THING!