some of you might want to read
so I have started to look at my life an see its going down hill, where did I go wrong I have been back stabbed but I stabbed some one else out of this all. An it is hurting me a lot to even talk about it, but I have to get it off my chest, there is only some people that cares to read this maybe one or two people.
an I know its been a wile sense I have written in this an some of you who read this just do it to see if I am "talking shit" an I really don’t care about any one at this moment only about the women I hurt,
but I talked to one of my best friends about what happened an he made sense but why cant I see it, why must I hurt my self to see it why MUST I FUCKING GO THREW THIS SELF DESTRUTIVE PAIN!!!!!
The best friend’s I can almost count them on one hand, oh wait I can now!
A to add to it, it’s a full moon oh yay.............
but I don’t know if it was back stabbing I mean its telling a good friend something I guess, but I was hurt in the prose’s, hurt worst then I think I have ever been hurt before an yes it is my fault if I could I would go back an stop all of it from happing, I went from being .
"Phil- some dude that quite and doesn’t say much" to "Phil-WHO the FUCK AM I!?"
An in that change I lost friends a gained a lost again.
an now I hurt an wonder if I am a peace of shit, if I am not worth anything, if I should leave every thing behind, because I hurt some one that I guess loved because shit it was the strongest feeling towards a person and yes maybe I was infatuated with her,
Again fuck it I don’t care if she knows, to me she was perfect and if this is the end of our friend ship (I hope not) I have to get it out.
All it took was a smile from her face to put one on mine an it only took the littlest things from her to make me happy, but I am only human an it starts to get to the breaking point where it must be said and I still think She might of played with my head unknowingly.
Because people know how I did care about her and would have done anything for her.
But she always looks over that fact,
So I am very sorry for what I did an I know that wont fix it thou.
I honestly don’t know who that fuck I am anymore I need to be put back together an start over or something I don’t know
SO TO ALL THOUSE I HAVE HURT I AM SORRY I AM SORRY FOR EVERY THING!